


Double Knot

by Str4y



Series: Safety [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Bad Decisions, Cheating, Consensual Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Manipulation, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 03:13:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20846588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Str4y/pseuds/Str4y
Summary: Jisung has a lot on his mind. The bucket list, Chan and Changbin toying with his emotions. His job. The cute new guy behind the counter who scares his clients. The fact that Chan doesn’t call him dove anymore—Jisung has a lot on his mind. Maybe this relationship with Chan and Changbin was never going to work out.They were a double knot in his heart. And Jisung wanted to untie it.(Bucket list 2)





	Double Knot

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends I’m finally posting part two to Bucket List. I swear double knot is literally in the fic and I didn’t name it that because of the comeback(although the comeback DID influence the name being chosen ngl) 
> 
> No warnings other than Jisung cries a lot and goes through that painful experience a lot of us have had over breakups/realization. That’s all really :(

Maybe this was a mistake. 

Jisung really should have gone with his gut on this one. Dating Chan and Changbin seemed nice in retrospect, but actually doing it...this wasn't working. 

Jisung should have known better. 

This was never going to work out. Everytime Jisung came into the room those two were all over each other. Jisung couldn’t stomach it half the time. The only thing keeping Jisung from leaving altogether was Changbin. Not his actual boyfriend, but fucking Changbin. The elder had to have noticed Jisungs discomfort. He would always come over when Jisung seemed down, cuddling into his side until Jisung was horny enough to fuck him. It was more attention than Chan was giving him, anyways. 

With time, Jisung was beginning to think Chan didn’t even want him anymore. The realization hit just after a month of whatever this was. Chan would spend less and less time with Jisung. He wouldn’t even call Jisung ‘dove’ anymore, which definitely hurt. Chan wasn’t even all that intimate unless Changbin was around. Jisung could sense the straining. It was just getting worse. He couldn’t remember the last time Chan fucked him. Yeah, they still kissed. But Chan hadn’t properly fucked him in too long. 

“Sorry for messing up the list again.” The last thing Jisung wanted to bother with was this receptionist fucking up his patient list, “I’ll get the hang of it soon.”

Jisung just nodded through his tiredness, taking the clipboard from the man’s hand, “it’s fine. You’re still learning.”

“Are you feeling okay? You look exhausted.” The man whispered, lollipop leaving his lips with a pop. Jisung should buy this guy his own lollipop stand. Minho. He wouldn’t stop stealing the free ones from the counter. The children didn’t seem to appreciate him at least. He was also not a kid person, either. Minho working in a children’s dentistry was a joke. 

“I’m fine. Just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Oh, that’s not good. You’re going to accidentally drill a hole into some poor kids mouth.”

Of course he had to say that as a small child was being escorted back to meet with jisung. Great. The look on the little boys face was enough. He would probably scream about how Jisung was going to kill him. 

Goddammit. 

“I’m joking!” Minho laughed back as the child began to whine, his mother tugging him along through the door. 

“Thanks.” Jisung snickered, rubbing at his eye before following the child back. He hoped he wouldn’t have any issues. But fuck, he was so tired. So exhausted with everything. He’d usually love going home but...god he never wanted his job to end. He didn’t want to go home. 

——

“What’s wrong?” Jisung was tired of being asked, but he knew his intentions were genuine. Changbin was just trying to help, to make all this shit work out somehow. “You’ve been getting worse.”

“I’m fine.” He was far from fine, “I’m just stressed from work. It’s getting more stressful everyday. I’m in the wrong career.” Jisung even laughed to conceal his actual pain, burying himself into the couch as his elbow propped against the arm, fingers tangled into his mess of brown hair.

Changbin wrapped both arms around Jisungs neck, face way too close for Jisung to turn and look at him, “You’re lying. You’ve been lying for awhile, haven’t you?” With time, Changbin spoke more and more. Instead of being short they had full conversations. But Jisung wasn’t in the mood for any conversations. 

“I can’t—”

Jisung wasn’t in the mood for this. He just wanted to wallow, but Changbin was ruining that with his stupid lips and annoyingly affectionate grasp around his neck. He didn’t hate Changbin at all, but he should have. If it weren’t for him, Chan would be on the couch with him instead.

Changbin took no time shoving his tongue into Jisungs mouth before crawling over him, tightening his arms about the brunettes neck. Jisung really liked him. He did. But he couldn’t get what he’d done to his relationship out of his head. 

“Stop—.” Changbin did, pulling away questionably, dark hair hanging over his eyes. Fuck. “Changbin, I’m just tired. I’m fine.”

Changbin sighed, raking a hand through his own hair which always made Jisung a mess. Changbins forehead was something that really fucked him up. He was so pretty with his hair like that, and he was sure Changbin knew that, too. “Is it Chan?” Jisung swallowed hard, “it is, he’s been ignoring you, right?”

“Don’t say that.” It hurt to hear. Even Changbin knew that Chan wasn’t showing Jisung as much attention as he used to. It didn’t help. It wasn’t helping. 

“I can see it. The way you look when he’s not paying attention to you. How you look when he’s busy with me.” He wanted Changbin to shut up. He didn’t want to hear it from anyone else. Especially him. “Jisung, do you think he’s tiring of you?”

Jisung wanted to scream. Maybe die. He didn’t want to hear his awful thoughts aloud. He really did think Chan was tired of him. He really thought Changbin was his replacement. 

Jisung couldn’t help but bury his face into Changbins hoodie, biting his lip that quivered. He didn’t want to cry or show that it bothered him. He really didn’t. 

“I figured.” Changbin moved his arms to hang at Jisungs lower back, chin propping itself in Jisungs hair, “I’ve noticed it, too. We should talk to him.” Jisung didn’t want that. Chan would find a way to excuse it. To push Jisungs thoughts away temporarily to shut him up. That’s all chan would do. 

“Can we fucking not?” Jisung whimpered, hating how his voice was getting, “I can’t. I don’t want to talk about this with him.”

“Okay.” Changbin replied, fingertips now moving along Jisungs back comfortingly. He hated how much he adored Changbin. All of this would have been easier if he hated him. But he didn’t hate him. He couldn’t. 

Jisung wasn’t even sure he could count how much time had passed. It was over an hour, definitely. He took a deep breath before pulling from the comfort of Changbins chest, resting his head back into the couch as he looked at the tired male settled next to him. Changbin must have fallen asleep or something. The way he blinked and how puffy his cheeks were—he was so cute. 

“Did you sleep?” Jisung asked, bringing his hands to settle along Changbins hips, “you should go to bed. Chan will be home soon.” Chan. He didn’t want to think about Chan. Not right now. 

“Yeah, sleeping with you is nice.” Changbin was still asleep. Sort of. His voice was so hoarse and small. “I’m sorry he doesn’t see you anymore.” Jisung felt the discomfort rising in his stomach again. This was the last thing he wanted to hear right now. He didn’t want to have another mini-breakdown. “I wish I could fix it.”

“Let’s not talk about it anymore. Here, let’s get you to bed.” Jisung signed, lifting up with Changbins arms wrapping around him. He definitely wasn’t strong enough to carry him at all. He wasn’t sure why he was trying. As soon as he stood he dropped back down to the couch with an annoyed sigh. 

Changbin scoffed, sliding from Jisungs lap to stand himself up, arms stretching wide as he gave a small yawn. “You tried.” He laughed, grabbing one of Jisungs hands to lace their fingers, “come to bed with me, okay?”

Jisung wasn’t really tired enough. But he couldn’t say no. He’d rather be with Changbin than alone when Chan came in. He really didn’t feel like having Chan walk passed him like he wasn’t there to see Changbin. 

He wanted Changbin. 

As Changbin led Jisung to his room he couldn’t help but anticipate the warm sheets. He kept telling himself he wasn’t tired but honestly — he just wanted to wrap up in the smaller male for awhile. He could sleep curled into his chest. He wouldn’t mind it at all. 

Once Jisungs back hit the sheets everything felt a little calmer. There was so much comfort in laying in his bed. Most nights he snuck off to the couch. It became a recurring thing that neither Chan nor Changbin had questioned. His bed. He missed his bed. 

“Comfy?” Changbin whispered, tugging blankets over them, nuzzling his face into Jisungs neck. As nice as this was, Jisung really wanted to melt into Changbin for once. Not the other way around. 

“Can you hold me?” The cringe of his words caused an irate groan along with him pulling the blanket over his face. He hadn’t really ever asked Changbin to switch with him. Why he decided to be so bold was embarrassing him. He could feel Changbin pull from his side, sitting up on the bed. Fuck. 

“Sure.”

Jisung slipped the cover down to his nose, wide eyes blinking in Changbins direction. “I’m sorry for asking I just—“

“You miss being held. Taken care of.” Changbin whispered, bringing a hand to drag along Jisungs temple. It felt so warm. Comfortable. He really liked it. The touches. He missed the comfort so much. “I can do that for you.”

Jisung opted to silence, opening the blanket again to allow Changbin to slide down with him. The elder nodded, getting comfortable before pulling Jisungs head to his chest, arm wrapping comfortably around him as the other dug its way into the messy brown locks. It felt so nice. It felt like how Chan used to hold him. Changbin was definitely smaller, but Jisung felt like he molded perfectly against the other. 

“How is it?” Changbin asked, fingers massaging the back of his head as he pressed little kisses along his hair. 

“Nice.” Jisungs eyes fluttered as he pressed his face into changbins warmth. Changbins warmth was everything right now. It was peace. It was what Chan should have been. “Can I ask you something?” Jisung whispered, eyes fighting to stay open as the only combating noise in the room was the ceiling fan above them. 

Changbin nodded against him, kisses stopping at his hair. Changbin was so warm. And inviting. And he was everything that Chan was supposed to be. Chan was supposed to be his comfort. His getaway and peace. He loved—

“Do you love Chan?”

Changbin shifted at the question, keeping his arms tight around Jisung. Thankfully he didn’t stir too much, but Jisung could tell he grew uncomfortable with the question. “I don’t know.” 

It was better than yes. Jisung swallowed before forcing his eyes to open, pulling away some to look directly into Changbins panicked eyes. He seemed so...Jisung wasn’t sure. Puzzled, maybe? “Do you love me?”

Changbin froze, fingers that had been playing in Jisungs hair stilling. It was a stupid question. There was no way Changbins feelings had grown strong enough in just a month of being together. Yeah, he saw him every day. Yeah, he fucked him almost every day. But it wasn’t love. It couldn’t have been. 

“Jisung, why are you asking me this?” It wasn’t a no. It wasn’t a yes, either. Changbin watched Jisung closely, eyes scanning the younger for an answer. An answer Jisung didn’t possess. 

Jisung shook his head, burying his face into the man’s warmth again. Fuck. Why did he ask that? What possessed his stupid ass to ask that. Why was Jisung so stupid? He just wanted comfort. He wanted Changbins comfort. Chances were the man would leave. 

“Jisung—“ changbins breath hitched and soon Jisungs chin was pulled up, forcing Jisungs eyes to open again to find Changbins. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like that he’d broken some unspoken rule. He wasn’t supposed to catch feelings. And he definitely didn’t expect changbin to reciprocate that. Changbin was Chan’s. Jisung knew that. “Why are you asking? Do you love me?”

Jisung whined, forcing his eyes to shut before they produced tears. That’s the last thing he wanted. To cry. He hated how puffy his face got. He hated how it stung. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring that up I’m so—“

Warmth. So much warmth. Changbin hadn’t left. His lips were pressed firmly against his again. Though Jisung wasn’t sure how to feel, he just accepted it. He let himself fall back against the pillow as Changbin kept a firm grasp at his chin, tilting his head slightly, lips parting against his own. It felt nice. It was always nice. Kissing Changbin brought a euphoria Chan hadn’t. But he loved Chan. He did. 

Right now he couldn’t think about him. He just wanted the comfort from Changbin. Jisung moved his arms to loop around Changbins neck, pulling the man over him as he rolled onto his back. Fuck Chan right now. He didn’t want to think about him. 

“Jisung…” The rasp in Changbins voice was telling. He definitely wanted him. But he didn’t want Changbin to ride him and he wasn’t up for rolling over to fuck him into the sheets. He wanted love. He wanted someone to fill him up. It had been too long. He’d wanted it for so fucking long. 

“Can you please fuck me?” Changbin smirked against their lips, “I want you inside of me.” It sounded so fucking embarrassing slipping from his lips. With Chan he never had to ask. Chan just assumed his role. With Changbin it felt the same. But now Jisung was asking—begging for it. 

Changbin adjusted himself some, moving his hands from Jisungs head to slip underneath his shirt, nails digging along the soft flesh at his stomach. “You want me to?” Jisung couldn’t help but groan in approval, hand making its way to changbins hair, pulling in agreement. “Why didn’t you ask before?” Changbins tone was different. It wasn’t so soft. It was sexy. It was nice. 

“Please.” Jisung whined, rolling his hips ever so slightly against Changbins. He hadn’t realized how hard the both of them were. How long had Changbin been hard anyways? Jisung wasn’t sure at all. He just wanted him. He needed someone to fuck him. 

Changbin bucked his own hips, Jisung pressing his head back only to expose his neck to changbin, who took no time in placing his lips at the flesh. Jisung couldn't conceal his little moans that slipped from his lips as Changbins teeth and tongue sucked and gnawed at his tan skin. It felt so nice. Jisung liked the lack of control. 

After a few embarrassing moans and whines Jisung knew his neck was probably covered in purple marks. Marks that would probably take a week to heal. Though his skin was burning from the touches, it felt so good. Jisung hadn’t stopped grinding his hips into the other the entire time. His underwear were soaked. He needed more. 

“You’re impatient.” Changbin laughed, bringing a hand to trace over the visible marks at Jisungs throat. “So impatient.” Jisung just watched him, eyes half-lidded. He wanted him so badly. He’d nearly forgotten why he was in so much distress. Changbins eyes finally met his, they were twinkling at him. He was so fucking pretty. “Jisung, I don’t want to fuck you.”

Jisung felt his heart drop. He wanted to be fucked. He wanted it so badly. He wanted Changbin to fuck him till he couldn’t walk. He needed it. “Changbin please—“

“I want to love you.”

Jisungs face was probably a cartoonish red. Of all the expressions and he drops the one that includes the ‘love’ word that he’d avoided earlier. What was Changbin trying to pull? 

“You want to love me?”

Was it hard?

“Yeah. I really do.” Changbin slipped his hands from Jisungs shirt, tugging off his hoodie and tossing it aside before trailing his fingers back to Jisungs stomach, “I don’t want it to be meaningless.” It usually was. It always was. Every time they slept together it meant nothing. They must have known Jisung wasn’t enjoying it, right? 

“Why?”

Changbin pulled Jisung up some, sliding the t shirt over his head, “it’s what you deserve.” Jisung didn’t think he deserved that. To be led on into believing he was cared for. He knew Changbin and Chan were endgame. He’d be tossed. He knew that. Jisung swallowed hard, turning his face to the side. Suddenly he wasn’t interested in this. Not this. “Jisung.” He didn’t want to be led on anymore. He didn’t want to be given reassurance. He knew that this would end. It’d end with him shoved aside. 

“Jisung.”

He didn’t want to be thrown away. He didn’t want to be used to the end. 

“Don’t cry, Jisung.” Changbin forced Jisung to look at him, eyes filled with concern that had to have been fake. Changbin was a manipulator, just like Chan. “Look at me.” 

He didn’t want to. Jisung Shut his eyes tightly. Fuck. The stupid tears making their way down his cheeks hurt so much. He didn’t want to cry and be vulnerable. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He was going to break. 

“Stop tricking me.” 

The words must have been venom. Changbins face twisted into a pain that was again trying to manipulate Jisung into believing that his boyfriend wasn’t about to leave him. He didn’t want to fall for it anymore. It was making him so ill. Day after day, all he wanted was the attention he’d had. But Changbin has stolen it from him. 

“All this time you—you’ve both been manipulating me. You’ve been using me and soon you’ll…” Jisungs breath hitched as he watched Changbin bite his lip, “you’ll abandon me.”

Jisung didn’t want to say anything else. He’d said enough. Maybe now they’d push him away quickly. They’d stop holding him by the fragile fake red string. They’d finally snap it. They’d let him go. 

“Jisung, you think I’ve been doing that to you?” Changbin sounded more angry than hurt now. And none of it was fake. “You think I’d really do that!? I’m not Chan. I’m not like him at all, do you not see that?” His tone was worsening. Jisung hated it. Changbin just sounded so pissed off. He wanted to make it stop. 

“I don’t believe you—“

“You want my answer!?” 

Jisungs lip quivered, but he managed a nod. As scary as Changbin was being, he wanted an answer. He wasn’t sure what question he’d get an answer to. But he was ready. As ready as he could ever be. 

“I love you.”

He didn’t want to hear that. It was fake. 

“I love you so much, Jisung.”

He didn’t. This was just another trick. This stung way more than Changbin telling him the actual truth. Jisungs tears fell harder and he was starting to choke on the stupid sobs. He hated this. He hated how fragile he was inside. He wanted to punch Changbin. He wanted to throw him off and just leave. 

“I’m not lying to you.” Changbin choked out, hands cupping Jisungs face, wiping his thumbs at the stubborn tears, “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He didn’t believe him. He wouldn’t. It was all bullshit to hold Jisung longer. He wasn’t sure why they wouldn’t let him go. “Stop…” Changbin winced as Jisung pulled himself up, though shakily, before looking at the man in the eyes. “Why can’t you two just admit it—you’ve been together a long time, haven’t you?” Changbin swallowed, looking off. Yeah. Jisung knew that much. “He loves you. I can see it. So stop...stop dragging me along. I’m tired of it. Chan doesn’t even look at me the same anymore. He doesn’t love me. I don’t know if he ever did. He’s so tired of me. He’s so—“

Changbin had his arms wrapped around Jisung like he mattered. Again, it just stung. It made Jisungs blood boil. Changbin was so full of shit. He didn’t care about Jisung. It was a facade. It wasn’t love. But jisung, for the moment, would take it. He lay his head against Changbins warm shoulder, stupid sobs replacing the sound of the buzzing fan. He hated the way he felt. He wanted it to stop. 

“We’ve been seeing each other for awhile, yeah.” Jisung bit his bottom lip hard, trying to stop his annoying noises from slipping out, “maybe he does love me. I don’t know. I don’t love him, Jisung.” Jisung shuddered, a hand sliding up to grip Changbins hip. Maybe too tightly. But it didn’t matter. He didn’t care right now. “For a long time...I didn’t know you existed. You know?”

Jisung paused, pulling away to look at the other. What did he mean? Changbin knew they were a couple. He knew when he walked into Jisungs job. He knew. What was he pulling now!?

“He told me about you a few months before he invited me to come see him. We’d been...sort of a thing for a little over four months by then. Nothing official. But I didn’t know about you before. Nor did I know he was cheating on you when he’d come see me.” Changbin sounded so honest. Most liars did in Jisungs experience. 

“Stop...don’t justify yourself. I just want to leave. I want to...fuck I don’t know. I can’t be here. I need to leave.” Jisung hated this. He hated how he was crumbling. Everything was hitting so much harder since he was already a mess. It stung more.

“Jisung…” changbin held his face again. Jisung didn’t pull away. He couldn’t. He felt like he’d crumble if he tried. “Do you wanna leave?” Yes. Yes he did. Was Changbin deaf?

Jisung just nodded, eyes stinging and vision hazing. He wanted to leave so badly. He wanted to disappear. This was too much. 

“Do you want to leave with me? We can leave.” Changbins thumbs were so smooth against his skin, but they stung. They were too warm for the vile things he’d done to him. 

“What?”

“We can both leave. We don’t need to stay. Fuck Chan.”

Jisung was growing more and more confused. But at least his breath had evened some. He felt a little more calm. “What are you talking about? What the fuck are you trying to do with me?”

“I already told you. I love you, Jisung.” He wanted to scream at him. He didn’t want to hear those words. 

“Stop fucking with me. What are you doing?”

Changbins fingertips slipped form Jisungs cheek, leaving an uncomfortable coolness, “I’m not lying. I already told you. Jisung, I care about you. I can’t speak for Chan—but I really do. I’m not playing.”

He must have been. This was horseshit. “You only messed with me because Chan told you to. You didn’t want to do any of that shit. You were just making Chan happy.”

“You’re so stubborn. Jisung I’m literally sitting here asking if you want to run off with me. Why would I want to please him? I don’t love Chan.” 

“Bullshit. This is all so shitty.” Finally Jisung found it in him to get out of the bed, hands at his face as he let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll just go. I’ll just leave so you two can be together. I can’t fucking deal with this.”

“Then don’t.” Changbins arms were so warm around him, secured right about his thin waist. It felt so nice. But it wasn’t real. This was all just some messed up plot. “Come with me.” A press to Jisungs neck and he felt like crying again. He was so overwhelmed. So tired. “We,” another kiss, “can,” a nibble, “go.”

Jisung was melting. He didn’t want to melt. He wanted to run away. Fuck this noise. He wanted his head to clear. “I—“ he just sigh against his hands, falling back into the shorter man’s warmth. 

“We can go. Right now.” Changbins breath was shaky. His chest was hot. He was stammering. Was this really happening? What was Jisung supposed to do? “Jisung, Chan’s not going to change.”

He knew that. But what the fuck was this? Changbin didn’t know Jisung. Yeah he paid attention to him. Sexually he made sure it was all about Jisung. He cuddled him. He cooked for him. But what was this. What was this shit. 

“I’m not forcing you. I don’t want to do that.” Changbin hadn’t forced Jisung to anything. But he had lied to him. Multiple times. And he’d manipulated him. He knew that for sure. Changbin was another Chan, wasn’t he? Like Chan, he’d tired of him. 

“Why would you leave Chan?”

“He’s not good to you.” Jisung sighed, letting his hands fall as his eyes scanned the mirror off to the side. He could clearly see how tight Changbin was holding him, the elders eyes shut tight as he pressed little kisses onto his shoulders. It just hurt. “He’s not doing what we were supposed to. He’s trying to push you away. I don’t want that.”

“You’ll do the same thing…”

“No I won’t.”

Jisung couldn’t believe him. His stomach and head were screaming for him to get out while he could. Changbin was just like Chan. He’d just hurt him in the end. He should have never agreed to this shit. 

“Why would I do that…? Jisung have I once given you the impression I’m not exhaustively in love with you?”

“You’ve known me a month!?” Jisung finally pulled away, growling into his hands once more, “you haven’t known me that long. You don't know me enough. You’re either doing this to hurt me or you’re psychotic. Either way I don’t want this. Stop saying sweet things to me and hurting my fucking head.”

Changbin furrowed his brow, looking straight into Jisungs round eyes narrowly, “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to get you out of here before it’s too late. Chan’s going to hurt you. Give me a reason to leave, too. I’m probably just as temporary.” Jisung hissed, looking away, “Jisung, l—I won’t say it anymore. I don’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing I want to do.” Changbins breaths were shallow. “I just want you to be happy. Chan’s not allowing that...I want to.”

Jisung couldn’t even focus anymore. He was trembling, body so shaken and distraught. He wanted to go so badly. So fast. He just wanted to disappear. He was miserable, anxious. 

“I don’t think you’re temporary.”

Jisung swallowed hard before settling himself back down at the bed, fingers gripping the sheets as he let out a sob. He felt miserable. Like he really could just die. 

“Jisung...I know I’ve—I’ve done awful shit to you. I can’t blame you for not trusting me. But if you’d give me the chance...just to prove to you that I don’t want to hurt you—“

Jisung winced at the sound of the door. Chan was home. 

“Jisung…”

“Not now.” Jisung sniffled, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. “Yep im showering. I can’t see him like this.”

Jisung didn’t wait for the answer. He made his way off the bed and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him before clutching the sink for support. 

Everything stung. His heart ached. He ached. He was sick and tired of this feeling. Sick and tired of Chan. Sick and tired of Changbin…

He didn’t love either of them, did he?

Jisung took a deep breath before turning the water on, watching the spray hit the shower floor. 

He was so exhausted. 

Jisung just bit at his lip, shaking his pants down before stepping into the shower. He was still hard, uncomfortably so. And he was groggy. Which wasn’t a good combo. 

Nothing about anything was a good combo. 

The water was warm. No, hot. Really hot. He figured the steam would help clear his sinuses, clear his head. It was nice. 

And then it wasn’t. 

“Hey sungie, you in there?”

No. Jisung didn’t feel like talking to him. He didn’t feel like answering Chan. 

“Yes.”

He couldn’t get through his head that Chan didn’t love him. Had he ever loved him? Chan was so sweet before, he loved Jisung, right?

“Can I come in?”

Why. Why did he want to come in and bother Jisung. Why did he want to hurt him? Jisung didn’t want to be hurt. 

“It’s locked.”

“You know I can wiggle the knob and it’ll open.” Chan laughed. He was in a good mood. Shit. 

“Okay.”

Jisung wasn’t sure why he answered. He did not want to see Chan right now. 

But the knob wiggles and the door clicked closed again. Fuck. 

Jisung turned his face, eyes settling on the man standing in front of the shower. He could barely tell Chan’s features through the steamed up glass. 

Chan opened the glass door. 

“Hey you.”

“Hey.” Jisungs voice was hoarse. Strained. Chan would know he was crying. 

“Can I come in with you, Dove?”

Dove. 

Jisung shuddered, eyes running from Chan’s face and focusing on the ground, nodding even though his chest told him to say no. 

So Chan undressed himself and slipped in behind Jisung, hands running along his hips and waist, making him feel like this was more than just Chan’s way of making it up to him. Maybe Changbin opened his mouth. He shouldn’t have said anything to him. 

“Sungie,” Chan was dragging his lips along Jisungs neck and back, causing him to shudder in response, “Are you okay?”

No. 

“I’m fine. Just exhausted from work.” 

There was a sigh into his back, and Chan’s hands made their way to his stomach, lowering with each second. 

“Stressed? I can help you with that.” Chan whispered then, fingertips now brushing along Jisungs length that had softened after his very brief jack-off session the moment he’d turned the water on. 

Jisung wanted to say no. Run away. But Chan’s hands on him…he missed it. 

“Please—“

Chan’s hands were unforgiving. After getting Jisung all worked up and flustered again, he had him bent against the shower glass, ramming into him with enough force the shower shook. He missed this, sure. But it didn’t feel real. 

It had been so long since he’d been fucked. Changbin said something for sure. There was no way he hadn’t said something. This sucked. This sucked so much. 

Jisungs breath fogged against the screen along with the steam as Chan held his hips tight, skin slapping and room filling with their moans. 

He missed Chan. 

But he didn’t. 

“I’m gonna come, Dove. Where should I come?”

Outside. 

“Inside—“ Jisung whimpered against glass, fingers splay and mouthy gaped at the pressure. Chan was fucking him just right, hitting his sweet spot over and over. He’d already come though, and at this point, he kind of wanted Chan to hurry it along. Though his body wanted more, his heart was cracking. Breaking. 

Jisung tried to filter out the pleased groan as Chan’s cum filled his falls, the feeling causing his chest to heat up and stomach to knot. Part of him missed this feeling. It was exhilarating. But Chan...he wasn’t good. Not at all. This wasn’t good. 

This was more manipulation. 

Chan pressed tiny kisses at Jisungs back, helping him steady himself up before pressing him against the wall tiles, tongue forcing its way into Jisungs gasping mouth. 

This used to be hot. This used to be nice. It used to be the best feeling in the world. But now? Now it sucked. It felt like shit. The worst feeling. Jisung wanted to cry again. 

“Chan…” Jisung didn’t even want it to stop. He didn’t. But he did. This was confusing. It hurt. 

“What’s the matter, dove?”

Jisung hated this. 

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Chan frowned, rubbing his hands along Jisungs hips like he actually cared about him, “doing what, Jisung?”

“This. Why are you still with me. Why are you hurting me?”

Jisung knew he was sobbing again. Crying again. 

“Dove, what on earth are you—“

He couldn’t take it. 

“Don’t call me that, Chan.” He was shaking. And the water was cooling. He didn’t want to do this. Why did he say anything? 

“Jisung, what’s going on?”

“You.”

“Jisung…” Chan’s fingertips wrapped around his jaw, “what did I do?”

Jisung didn’t like how soft Chan’s eyes were. How pretty he looked with his lips all red and hair wet, he hated this. 

“Stop—“ Jisung whimpered, hands moving to push at Chan’s chest. What was he doing. 

Chan released his grasp at Jisungs jaw, eyebrows furrowing and lips straightening out. He was hurt. Jisung didn’t want that. He didn’t want to hurt Chan. Not like how Chan was hurting him. 

“Jisung...if I’m hurting you in any way…you have to tell me.” 

This was bullshit. 

Jisung closed his eyes tight, lip quivering as he released another unattractive sob. Fuck. 

“Sungie, please…” Chan’s hands were holding Jisungs face, thumbs caressing his lips cautiously. 

He wanted to die. He was shaking. Chan must have known how Jisung felt. Changbin told him, didn’t he?

“You don’t love me anymore, do you?”

Jisungs eyes were still shut as tears stung down his cheeks. But he could sense Chan’s hesitation. And the way his breathing changed. And how his fingers trembled at Jisungs cheeks. 

And he had his answer. 

He was left choking. He couldn’t hold himself up anymore. Jisung let out a very vocal whimper as his legs gave out, Chan grabbing him around his waist to hold him up, keep him from smacking his head against the fucking tiles. Chan was holding him tightly, Jisungs could feel the wetness from the spray of the showerhead at his back as Chan held him against his chest. 

He’d never felt more pain. Nothing in the world could compare to this feeling. Jisung was gasping for air, shaking against Chan. Chan wasn’t even answering him. If he had, Jisung couldn’t hear over his broken sobs and painful gasps. 

He was in so much fucking agony over this shit. This was his Chan. He loved Chan. Chan and him joked about their futures together. They joked about moving somewhere far away and just existing together. Fuck, they joked about kids. 

That wasn’t going to happen anymore. 

Jisung wanted to pass out. But the last thing he wanted was for Chan to haul him out of the shower into their bed. Their. He didn’t want that bed. They could have it. He didn’t want it. 

But it happened. 

Jisung wasn’t sure what time of day it was. He woke up with a messy head of hair sticking to his cheeks. The fan was on high, the blankets pulled up to his chin. 

He had clothes on now, one of Chan’s black sweatshirts. And probably a pair of changbins basketball shorts. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want to be in /their/ clothes. He didn’t want to be in /their/ bed. 

Jisung pulled himself up, rubbing his tired eyes. He was alone. Of course he was alone. Maybe they went out. Maybe they were fucking. Whatever it was, he was kind of glad they weren’t there. 

He let out a shaky breath as he tossed his legs over the bed, fingers clutching the sheet below. 

Part of him really didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to leave the room only to find them out there. He didn’t want to see them. He just didn’t. 

Jisung pulled himself up, cautiously making his way to the door, trying his best to avoid the squeaking floorboards beneath him. He couldn’t hear anything. No TV. No cooking. No laughing and no moaning. Maybe they weren’t here. He’d like that. If they went out. But at the same time...fuck. 

He shut his eyes tight as he opened the door, waiting for sound. Waiting for something. 

Nothing came. 

Jisung opened his eyes again, tiptoeing into the living room. Nothing. They weren’t here. It stung a bit. That they left him in his state alone. But whatever. He shouldn’t expect much from those two anymore. 

Jisung settled himself down on the sofa, shivering at the cool air as slid his phone from the drawer he’d left it in earlier. So many missed calls. Notifications from his squirrel app. Nothing important though. 

He took a deep breath before scrolling through his contacts. He didn’t want to stay here. He didn’t want to stay here at all. 

It was two thirty in the morning. Nobody would even answer him. He’d called Felix. But honestly, Felix might have just been with Chan and Changbin. That was no good. 

Maybe Minho would talk to him? Minho was always late to work and brought coffee a lot. Maybe he’d answer. He just needed to see someone. Anyone. At this point, he didn’t even care who. 

“Yo!” Jisung rolled his eyes at that. Of course he picked up. He was probably out. 

“Are you free?” He sounded so stupid and desperate. 

“Like free as I’m available to hang out?”

Yes. Jesus Christ.

“Yeah, I need to get out of the house.”

“You should be sleeping for work, Jisung.”

Ugh. 

“I know. I’m just...I might call out it’s been a long night. Can I come over? Or where are you right now?”

Minho laughed. 

“I’m at a friends house but I can ditch if you need someone right now. Are you okay?” Minho sounded worried. He didn’t want that tonight. 

“If I’m being completely honest, I just want to hang out with someone alone. If that’s okay?”

“Ooh, are you going to kill me mister dentist?”

“Dental assistant—and no. I just want to see someone. Anyone.” Jisung pressed. 

“Okay. Sure do you want me to pick you up or—“

“No, I have to leave now. I don’t want to wait. Where should I meet you?”

“Ooh, I’ll send you my address and meet you there if you want? Or if you’re worried I’ll kill you or something you can send me an address.”

“Yours is perfect.” 

What was he doing. Did Minho even know what Jisung was implying right now. If he was going to see Felix, he’d be more than willing to do it, but Minho? Jisung barely knew him outside of work. He was newer. He was a fuck-up. He scared Jisungs patients. He was...he would be fine. 

So Jisung got his address. And he changed his clothes, grabbed his toothbrush just in case. He just had to get out. 

Did he even put on his cologne? It didn’t matter. Minho wouldn’t notice. Jisung smelled like body wash anyways. He’d be fine. 

——

What was he doing? 

He was sitting outside of Minhos apartment. Luckily it was on the ground floor. And Jisung could just knock at the door he was eyeing. It was right there. And Minhos stupid car was right in front of his, the decorated back window of cat plushies settled meticulously. 

He hoped Minho wouldn’t freak out. He hoped Minho would be down. He needed him to be down. Did Minho even know Jisung well? Did he know that Jisung was dating two people? Did he know anything?! They were mutuals on the squirrel app. Friends on social media. They even liked each other’s selcas. Minho has to know about Chan and Changbin, right? 

Jisung knocked at the chipped door, biting his bottom lip with anticipation. What if Minho wasn’t down? What if Minho pushed him away and told him to leave? He’d ruin their weird mutual work relationship. He couldn’t. What was he doing?!

“Hey Jisung!” Minho was bright. He must’ve been out with his friends drinking. He had eyeliner that was a little messy, glitter in his hair probably from some event where stuff sprayed into a crowd. Or maybe a part game? Minho didn’t look like he hadn’t been enjoying himself. Jisung felt bad. 

“Hi Minho.” Jisung stumbled over the simplest words, glancing down to the orange cat that was sniffing at his shoes. Minho has cats. Jisung knew that. 

“Are you okay? Come in.” Minho frowned, moving from the doorway to wave Jisung along. 

Did he look that drained? 

“I’m fine. Just needed to get out of the house.”

Minhos apartment was cozy. Messy, but cozy. There was another cat at the back of the couch. And a third was running off to the back. It smelled nice despite the expected litter box smell. Minho smelled nice too. Jisung made sure to smell him as he walked by. He felt like a fucking creep but Minho smelled really good. 

“Want anything to drink?”

“Do you have vodka?”

Minho laughed, closing the door behind before walking passed Jisung towards the fridge, scratching one of the cats heads, “I do, just bought some today. You stalking my page?” He had. Minho was so bright still. 

“I just want vodka. Really bad.” Jisung hissed, approaching the cat at the sofa, letting it sniff him before he stroked its back. Soft. He wish he had pets at the other place. 

“I’m guessing you had a fight with one of those guys, huh?” So Minho knew. “You look awful.” Minho frowned, handing Jisung a glass, pouring the cup halfway. 

“I just...it’s not important. I just want to forget about it right now.” Jisung felt like being honest. Just a little. 

Minho sigh, pouring a glass for himself, “well, whatever happened, I’m here for you. I’ll probably call out tomorrow too.”

Jisung shook his head, “you probably won’t. You’ve come to work after posting at five in the morning about how hungover you were. You don’t miss days.”

Minho smirked, glass at his lips, “perhaps.”

“I’m sorry I came so late. I’m sorry I’m here period. You look like you were having a fun night.” Jisung took the glass to his own, gulping down painful gulps before offering a wince. 

“To tell you the truth, you saved me.” Minho laughed, “I didn’t get drunk to the point I slept with this guy who wouldn’t leave me alone. I’d probably be in bed with him right now if you hadn’t called and saved the day!” Minho pulled himself to sit on top of his counter, feet hanging as he took another sip from his glass, “you’re not a burden at all. Tell me what happened?”

Jisung took a deep breath before downing his glass. It stung his throat, but he didn’t fucking care. The less he could feel, the better. He held his glass out again, Minho pouring more of the alcohol into the glass for him. 

“I’m just not having a great time with them lately.”

“Ah...yeah I couldn’t do a poly thing. I’d feel left out. I’m not good at putting anyone above these kids running around.” Minho laughed, patting the counter besides him for the cat who had run off earlier, patting its head as it curled up beside him. 

Jisung laughed at that, leaning against the fridge, “yeah I think I’m the one being left out. Everything they say sounds so fake. I don’t know what to do about it anymore.”

“You were just with Chan before, right?”

That kind of stung. A little. 

“Did he want it? Or did you?”

“He did.”

Minho frowned, setting his glass aside, “so you’re not feeling the other guy?”

“I don’t think they’re feeling me. Honestly I woke up to an empty house tonight.”

Minhos face was filled with sympathy. Jisung just gulped the second glass down, head slightly fuzzy from how stupidly fast he was drinking. 

“I think I’m being replaced. Like, the way they set it up to begin with was a red flag.”

“I’ll listen.” Minho smiled, putting the vodka bottle behind him. He probably didn’t want Jisung to get more drunk for some reason. But Jisung didn’t want to feel anymore...

“Well, Chan and I had this stupid bucket list idea. And his bucket list idea was a threesome.”

“What was yours?”

“Skydiving.”

Minhos lips curled into a smile, “ah.”

“Yeah so, we did mine and I insisted we do his but he fucking knew the guy. And tonight I confirmed they had been seeing each other long before without me knowing and—“ Jisung stopped to think, “I allowed them to sweet talk me into staying after Changbin manipulated me into thinking I was cheating on Chan. Fuck, they’ve been playing me the whole time.” Jisung breathed out, biting his lower lip. 

Minho reached out, patting Jisungs hair light and soft, “I’m so sorry, Jisung. What are you going to do?”

Jisung blinked, eyeing Minho carefully, “I don’t want to think about them anymore. I don’t even know where they are. What they’re doing without me. Chan...tonight after we fucked,” he knew he was oversharing, “he didn’t answer me when I asked if he loved me.” 

He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t come here to cry. 

“I’m so sorry, Jisung. You should—I don’t know the situation enough at all, but maybe you should get out of there?”

“I want to. I think.” Jisung. Murmured, stepping in front of Minho now, scanning the elders face, “I just want to stop thinking about them, though. I don’t want them clouding my head anymore.”

Minho tilted his head a bit, messy blue hair clouding his eyes. Minho was really pretty. Really pretty. Jisung wanted to kiss him. Wanted to do a lot with him right now. Fuck the work relationship. He didn’t come here to chat. He came here to fuck. Minho must have known. 

He must have known because Jisungs hands were running along his thighs, and he was leaning into him now. As fuzzy and light as he felt, he knew for sure he wanted this. Something different. Even if it ruined their friendship. Even if it made work awkward. He just wanted to fuck. 

“Jisung…” Minho sigh, moving his hand from the cat who then scampered off of the counter to brush his hand along Jisungs hip, fingers brushing underneath his shirt to graze his skin. 

Okay, maybe Minho didn’t give a shit about their work relationship either. Good. 

Jisung made the first move, leaning forward to meet the elders lips, nearly missing completely as he stumbled against him. Minho was warm. His chest was really hot. And his tongue tasted like the vodka he’d just consumed. And his hand was now running up his shirt. 

Jisung felt so warm, too. He knew he was flushed. He knew he was pretty buzzed. Maybe drunk. He wasn’t positive, but he knew he wanted to kiss Minho. 

Minho had an arm slinked around his waist, the other hand reaching up to his nipple. Yeah, he wanted to fuck Jisung. Good. Minho shuddered against Jisung a moment, sliding himself from the counter, tongue rolling into Jisungs mouth. 

It was nice. Different and nice. He didn’t have to worry about Minho loving or manipulating him. Even if this was wrong, if this was a bad thing. Jisung didn’t have to worry. Minho wanted to do this. He wanted to do this. 

“Bedroom? Can we go to your room?” Jisung murmured, breaking away from Minhos lips with a pop, vision blurring slightly as he dug his hands underneath of Minhos button-up, hissing I’m surprise at the plush feeling. Chan was so muscular, Minho was more on Changbins side. A little unexpected but interesting. Soft. 

“Yeah. Follow me.” Minho gasped, moving his hand from Jisungs chest, pulling the younger after him into the hall. 

It was the first door on the right. And Jisung didn’t even look at the messy floor, or the posters on the wall. He barely noticed the fact that Minho was pushing him onto the bed. 

Jisung allowed Minho to lay over top of him, tongue back inside of his mouth. He tasted so good. Jisung didn’t want it to end. Didn’t want anything to end. 

Soon Jisung was moaning out, Minhos lips and teeth sucking and biting at his chest. Jisung missed the attention. Maybe he’d be properly fucked for once. He didn’t count the shower. He didn’t count that at all. 

“Can I?” Minho whispered against his chest, fingers running along Jisungs zipper, palm pressing against his dick. 

Jisung nodded hastily, fingers running through the soft blue colored locks of hair as Minho lowered himself down, mouth way too close to his length. God, he really wanted to fuck Minhos mouth. But he just wanted to be fucked right now. He didn’t want the extra. 

“You don’t have to...suck me off.” Jisung hiccuped, “i just…”

“What do you want, Sung?” Minho asked, the sound of his zipper sliding down enough to have him bucking his hips in excitement. 

“I just want to be fucked...just want you to fill me.” He would have cringed at those words. But instead he was too lightheaded and he wanted Minho inside of him so badly. 

Minho laughed softly, kissing over the underwear that were just barely holding Jisung together, teeth grazing over cloth, “then let me pay attention to something else, okay?”

Jisung nodded, sort of understanding what Minho meant. 

Yeah, he was right. As soon as Minho pulled Jisung pants down he was raising his legs up over his shoulders. Good. 

“Before I do this, you’re sure you want to?” Minho whispered, nuzzling his lips against Jisungs clothed length, fingertips digging under his waistband in anticipation. 

Of course he did. 

“Please do it. I want to.” Jisung tugged at Minhos hair some, pressing the mans face closer to his length. “I want it.”

“You sure?” Minho pressed again, fingertips pulling the cloth constricting Jisung down slightly causing the younger to hiss. 

“Please Minho. Just fuck me, please.”

Minho blinked at him before pulling his underwear, moving to tug them off completely before pulling Jisung down more, legs back over his shoulders, “if you change your mind, don’t hesitate.” Minho whispered before moving a hand to Jisungs length, the sensation causing Jisung to clench his thighs some, garnering the cutest laugh from Minho. 

“Don’t laugh!” Jisung laughed back, throwing his head back, “it’s so cute.”

“I can’t help it. /You’re/ cute.” Minho replied, face moving from sight. Good. This is what Jisung wanted. 

“A-ahhhn!” Jisung arched his back slightly at the sensation of wetness, Minhos tongue running along his hole suddenly. He hadn’t felt that in ages. Chan never did it anymore. Changbin didn’t. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had rimmed him. 

Minho offered a small laugh before moving his hand along Jisungs length, tongue teasing his hole in the best way. 

Jisung clenched the sheets, eyes fluttering as he felt Minhos tongue fill him. It had been so long. So fucking long. 

Minho moved some, probably to angle his tongue better. His hand was moving along Jisungs length too well. Too nicely. He wouldn’t last long like this. Not with Minhos tongue rolling inside of him. 

“Minho...not too long. I don’t want to cum early.” Jisung whined, angling himself up with his elbows. 

Fuck. 

Minho looked so pleased, eyes shut and mouth moving so nicely against him as his thumb pressed down against Jisungs slit. 

“M-Minho please. I don’t need a lot I just want to feel you.” Jisung whispered again, fingers that were in Minhos hair tugging him up, Minhos eyes fluttering and half lidded and so fucking pretty. 

“Are you sure?” Minho sigh, letting one of his hand move to Jisungs hole, index and ring pressing into fairly easily, fucking into him oh so slowly, “positive?”

“Yes, please.”

“If you’re sure.” Minho sighed, leaning up some before pulling off of the bed to Jisungs displeasure. 

“What are you—?”

“Let me go brush my teeth real quick. And get a condom. I’m not leaving.” Minho laughed, tugging his own pants down to the ground, stepping out of them clumsily. 

Fuck, Jisung should have offered to at least blow Minho. He was doing him a favor, anyways. 

“Wait, do you want me to blow you?” He asked, words slurring together. 

Minho shook his head, patting Jisungs hair, “only if you want to. But honestly, I’m going to bust if you do.”

Jisung laughed back, laying himself back down, hand trailing down to his own length, “only if it’s on my face.” 

Minho smiled at that before disappearing into the bathroom that was luckily connected to the room. 

He missed him already. As he pumped himself he couldn’t help but miss him. He wanted attention. Affection. Fuck, he was decent enough to brush his teeth after eating Jisung out. He didn’t think anyone had ever done that. Not that he ever even noticed. Minho was considerate. Sweet. 

It’s what he needed right now. 

Jisung stopped touching himself after a few moments, sighing at the stimulation. He didn’t want to cum early. He wanted Minho inside of him. He wanted it so bad. He needed it. 

“I’m back.” Minho came back fairly quickly, crawling over Jisung. 

His eyeliner wasn’t messy anymore. And his breath smelled so minty. So nice. 

“You’re so pretty.” Jisung gasped out as Minho ran his hand along Jisungs torso. 

“You are, too.” Minho laughed, positioning himself against Jisungs hole, the feeling of the condom brushing against him making him want to wiggle down onto his length. He wanted it so badly. 

“Minho...you can be as rough as you want. The rougher the better…” he whispered, grabbing either side of Minhos face now, letting out soft whimpers as Minho pressed himself inside. Nice and slow. Slow enough for Jisung to shiver and whisper in excitement. 

Minho leaned in, lips pressing against Jisungs in tiny pecks before tilting his head again, tongue wrapping around Jisungs. And then he let out a soft gasp as he moved his hips, euphoria seeming to wash over him quick enough. 

Jisung smiled against Minhos mouth, shoving his tongue into the elders mouth as his hands ran along Minhos chest, the feeling of the elder bucking his hips causing his head to spin. 

He wanted to be used. Not the way Chan and Changbin did. He wanted Minho to use him. Fuck him as hard as he could. Use him as nothing but a hole. 

Minho seemed to get the memo, positioning himself better against Jisung, lifting one of his legs up over his shoulder before rolling his hips suddenly, causing Jisung to arch his back. Good. Minho felt good. 

“M-more. You don’t have to hold back.” Jisung gasped out, raking his nails down the elders chest, rolling his own hips the best he could. 

“Let me know if it’s too much.” Minho moaned, pulling himself out only to slam back into him. Yes. That’s what he wanted. 

Jisungs eyes rolled back as Minho quickened his pace, holding his leg up as he fucked into him, deep and fulfilling. What Chan used to feel like. How Chan should have felt like. 

Minho was moaning so nicely. He was really vocal, surprisingly. And although Jisung was too buzzed to get a good look at Minhos dick, it felt so good. It wasn’t as thick as Chan’s or as long as Changbins(not that he’d ever gotten to feel it) but it was nice. He liked it a lot. The feeling of bliss was sweeping over him. 

Fuck Chan. 

Fuck Changbin. 

Minho. He would forever owe Minho for this. 

The elder hissed suddenly, leaning over Jisung, thrusting into Jisungs deep. He must’ve been close. His breath was so frantic against his neck as teeth and tongue lodged there, sucking and biting again. Minho was loud. Jisung knew he was being loud too, as he locked his arms around Minhos neck, mouth hung open, he knew he was being loud. Hopefully Minhos neighbors didn’t mind Minho and Jisung practically screaming out each other’s names. 

This felt so nice. Minho was doing everything right, so right that Jisung was about to—

Jisung let out a loud whine, burying his face into Minhos bare shoulder as he came, feeling the sticky seed spreading along his and Minhos chest as the elder continued to fuck into him, sound of skin slapping together filling his ears. 

It was a good sound. And this was an even better feeling. He’d be so sore in the morning. He wasn’t sure how he’d manage to get up. 

“I-Jisung I’m gonna cum.” Minho breathed out, lifting his head to press his lips back against Jisungs. “Want me to pull out and?” He couldn’t barely speak as he slowed his pace down. 

“Yes yes.” Jisung whimpered, shuddering from his own release, head fuzzy with alcohol and euphoria. 

“Okay. Okay.” Minho gasped, sliding himself from Jisung, his leg falling to the bed lazily as Minho climbed over him. 

His dick was pretty too. Minho was just really pretty. And Jisung didn’t want this to ruin their friendship at work. Fuck. Work. 

“You sure?” Minho was gasping softly, sliding the condom from his length. 

Jisung was really sure. He nodded, angling himself up more, grabbing Minhos dick into one of his hands. Minho really wasn’t that big at all. But it had been enough for him. Although he knew Minho was holding back, it had been nice enough. 

Minho threw his head to the side, pretty blue shielding his eyes as Jisung slipped his tongue around the head, fingers squeezing against his shaft as Minho bucked his hips slightly. 

“You can fuck my mouth if you want.” Jisung murmured, vibrations causing Minho to shiver. The goosebumps over the elders skin were unmistakable. “And before you ask, yes. I’m sure.”

Must have been the magic words. Because Minho had his fist full of Jisungs hair, angling himself better before thrusting into his mouth. It was careful enough at first, Minho was really cautious. Really considerate. 

But honestly, Jisung didn’t want his consideration. He just wanted to get fucked. Hard. 

Jisung moved himself forwards some, the feeling of Minhos tip hitting his throat causing him to gag. But Jisung wasn’t about to let Minho back away, he grabbed the back of his thigh, nails digging and holding him firmly. Maybe he’d get it. That Jisung just wanted to be holes to fuck. 

Maybe he did. He quickened, constantly tugging at Jisungs hair as he moved his hips. Jisung could feel the tightening of his muscles as he did. It was nice. Really nice. 

Just a couple pumps and Minho was gasping out again, sweat beating down his stomach and head thrown back again. God. Jisung wished he could see Minhos face. All he knew was that the mans mouth was slack open and he was shuddering. 

His cum wasn’t as salty as Changbins. Wasn’t as sweet as Chan’s. It was whatever. Cum was cum. But it was nice. He liked how it was filling his mouth. 

Each time Minho tried to pull out Jisung would grip his thighs tighter, holding him there as he tried to swallow the cum that was sitting in his cheeks. 

“Jisung im gonna die.” Minho laughed, breath so shallow as he ran his fingers into Jisungs hair, hips moving way too slowly. He was probably overstimulated. But Jisung wasn’t done yet. He wanted to milk him dry. He just wished his mouth was bigger. 

“Jisung, really. I’m going to collapse.” Minho gasped, caressing Jisungs cheek with his thumb. 

He didn’t want to force him to stay at all. He finally let his head fall back, gulping down the rest of what he could. But fuck, he overestimated his abilities. 

“You gonna use it as mouthwash?” Minho teased, leaning down, nose pressed against Jisungs a moment before lips met his again. 

He was so lightheaded. So exhausted and tired. And sad. He was still sad, but the thrill of having Minhos tongue rolling around his cheeks was nice. Kept him alert a little longer. 

Minho must have been taking his seed back, Jisungs mouth felt less and less like Minho as the elders tongue wiggled around. That was hot. 

“Minho—“ jisung managed, pushing the elder up. Yeah he had taken that leftover cum. Interesting. 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” Jisung felt his eyes fluttering. He didn’t want to pass out. But the fucking exhaustion, euphoria, the time—it was becoming overwhelming. He was so distraught inside. His chest hurt, his heart ached. He was just tired. 

——

When Jisungs eyes opened again it was bright. There was purring to his right, soft breaths to his left. He forced his eyes to adjust, noticing the ceiling for the first time. Swirly patterns of paint. Jisung shook his head as he sat himself up some, patting the animal that had curled up beside him before turning his eyes to the man laying next to him. 

Ah, he was really cute. His cheeks were as puffy as Jisungs were usually. And he looked so peaceful and small. Big contrast to last night. 

Jisung wasn’t sure if he should wake Minho up or bolt. Bolting would result in uncomfortable loss of friendship, and waking Minho up would lead to uncomfy conversation. 

So he got up, opening the bottom drawer of Minhos dresser and tugged on a pair of sweats. He figured getting dressed completely would be too noisy. Hopefully Minho wouldn’t mind him stealing his sweats. 

Minho stirred a bit, turning to the other side with a slight huff. He was still asleep, thankfully. 

Jisung pondered a moment before taking the cat that was stretching in place, cradling it in his arms before heading out of the room. 

He should feed Minhos cats. It was morning now, right? Or later in the day? They were probably hungry. 

He made it out to the kitchen, the cats slinking around his feet as the one in his arms jumped down. He liked cats. He wished their apartment allowed cats. Chan and Jisung used to have a fish, but they weren’t home enough to feed it. 

Jisung found the cat food fairly easily, sitting on the fridge with a large paw print in it. The cats ate fast, too. He hoped he hadn’t given them too much or too little as he set the canister back onto the fridge, patting one of the cats head before glancing around the kitchen. 

Should he make tea? No, Minho didn’t drink tea. Maybe coffee? Water? Should jisung leave?

He sighed out before heading back to the bedroom. No. Leaving was bad. But staying felt bad. Jisung should find his phone. He left it on the table by Minhos side. He should check it. 

As Jisung slipped back into the bedroom he could see Minho still sleeping soundly. Good. Have him time to figure out what the hell to do. How to move along. 

Jisung bit his lower lip, taking the phone into his hands as he made his way to Minhos side, keeping an eye on the sleeping man who’s cheek pressed into the pillow. 

Ah. Nine missed calls from Felix. Jisung rolled his eyes at that. Eleven from Changbin. Two from Chan. Just two. 

The two stung. The two hurt. No, maybe Chan texted him? 

He checked his messages. More notices from Felix. A bunch of ‘why did you call? ’and ‘Are you okay?’ No he wasn’t. Not really. 

Changbin messaged him a lot. Nothing about what they discussed earlier. Just lots of ‘Jisung where do you go?!’ And more frantic shit he wanted from Chan. 

Chan. 

Jisung had his hand over his mouth, trying so hard to stop from releasing sobs as he looked at the single message from him. 

One single message. 

One ‘jisung?’ That’s it. He only called twice. He only messaged once. 

Jisung felt hot. He was so heated. His stomach in knots and heart breaking. He really didn’t care, did he? He used to. He would have sent jisung a million messages and calls if he loved him. Like he used to when Jisung was just a little late from work. Now...three total worries. That’s it. 

“Jisung?”

He couldn’t conceal his shitty noises. Minho was awake, alert again. He was looking at Jisung with so much concern. Jisung shouldn’t have stayed. He shouldn’t have even come by. This was a mistake. He cheated on Chan. He—

“Jisung, calm down.” Jisungs phone hit the side table and soon Jisung was back in the bed, settled against Minho who was rubbing his back now, rocking him slightly. “What happened?”

He just shook his head, curling into the elder for warmth. He didn’t necessarily want it, but it’s all he had right now. 

He wanted to be with Chan. He wanted Chan. 

“If you can tell me I’ll do everything I can to help. I’m here for you, Sung.” Minho sighed, wrapping the blanket around his shoulder. 

Jisung nodded this time, burying his face into Minhos neck, shivering from his stupid breakdown. He was tired of it. Honestly, last night had fucking broken him. Chan and Changbins confirmations and hesitations. Jisung was sick. He felt so used. So pathetic. He really was a fucking extra to them. 

“Can I stay here?”

“What?”

“Minho, can I stay here?” Jisung choked, looking at his coworker, “I can’t go back. I can’t. I just want to stay here. Just for a little please?”

“Jisung—“

“Please. I’ll pay rent and I’ll drive us to work and buy you food and feed your cats. I’ll do whatever around the house and I can do whatever you want. I can suck your—“

“Jisung, calm.” Minho grabbed his face with a huff, adjusting so Jisung was on his lap more comfortably, “if you need somewhere to stay you can stay here. It’s fine. I don’t know what happened with those two but if you’re scared to go back, just stay here. It’s fine.”

Jisung let out a sigh, rubbing at his eyes that were way too fucking sore. “I—I’m so sorry. If it’s too much I can go. Oh my god why did I say that I—“ 

“Jisung, it’s okay. I don’t want you even going back like this.” Minho frowned, “It's fine. Just take as much time as you need.”

“You sure?”

“I’m as sure as you were last night every time I asked you.” Minho smirked, patting Jisungs head. 

“I’m so sorry for...all of this.” Jisung hiccuped, trying to calm himself the best he could. 

“Don’t be. I can tell whatever is going on is...way too much right now. We’re friends, right? Friends help each other out.”

Jisung allowed a tiny smile to cross his lips, “okay. I’ll do whatever I have to—“

Minho laugher, patting Jisungs hair, touch gentle, “calm down. It’ll be alright. I’ve got you and you’re fine. Stay as long as you have to. I won’t tell them you’re with me if they come by work.”

“Thank you...once I figure things out I’ll be out of your way.”

“You’re not bothering me at all. I just want you safe, Sung.”

Jisung nodded, calming himself to the point he was able to brighten his smile some, “Thank you, Minho.”

New goal for Jisungs bucket list; Find a way out of his poly relationships with people who do not love him. 

Number one on his bucket list, cut the double knot.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. This, despite being an emotional rollercoaster, I think is actually super light and I hope it doesn’t hurt anyone reading. 
> 
> — ✨
> 
> A L S O 
> 
> I don’t know why on earth I have to do this but please do not reupload my work under any circumstances. If you’d like to for any reason please message me first, do not reupload my work. If you see my works on wattpad please report them, I will never grant permission for wattpad.  
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